The Point of No Return
by leandra1709
Summary: After a plan gone wrong, Harley Quinn is seen as suicidal and is taken to a mental institution, where she has to figure out where she stands in life. Based on an experience I had at a mental hospital.
1. Chapter 1

The room was dark and even though it was silent, a loud ringing noise pounded at her eardrums. The window faced a brick wall, with no view of the outside world at all. Harley laid on her side, staring blankly at nothing. She had no idea what to expect next.

She had jumped in front of Batman's car, to divert his attention from Mr. J escaping. What she didn't know, was that the police were there as well, and slapped handcuffs on her, before sending her to a mental institution for "suicidal tendencies". That annoyed her the most. She wasn't suicidal.

Remembering the events leading up to this, Harley's mouth twitched. She wasn't suicidal, but sometimes she did feel bad about herself.

She sat up in anger. "I'm pretty and pretty darn smart, so why the hell am I so worthless to everyone?!"

Her outburst woke up the girl in the bed next to hers, "Shut the hell up!"

Harley clapped her hands over her mouth. She didn't realize how loud she had been. With a sigh, she laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Maybe she did belong here. Maybe she was crazy and worthless and everything that everyone said about her. A tear stained her cheek and she closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep.

Just as soon as she fell into sleep, the light turned on and a nurse's voice woke her up, "Harleen Quinzel!"

Harley sat up quickly, her heart beating fast. The room was unfamiliar and she had trouble remembering what had happened.

The nurse tapped a pen on her clipboard, "I know it's early, but we need to draw some blood."

The time on the electric clock said 4:30AM. Harley had only been able to rest for about five hours.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and clumsily stood up. Making her way across the room, the nurse started walking into the hallway, "This way, please."

The bright lights were blinding, and Harley had to shield her eyes with her arm. Her gaze searched the building once it was safe to look around.

There was a big hallway with many doors, leading to bedrooms, an office with glass walls, and an examining room. The nurse went into that door. Harley followed her.

"Please sit," the nurse sat down in a chair and gestured to a bigger chair in the corner of the room. An IV bag and medical equipment were next to it.

Hesitantly, she sat down and felt anxious. A male nurse walked in and strapped her arms down. Her panic grew and she looked at them in confusion.

"This is just a safety measure, please don't resist."

The male nurse drew out a large needle, along with sanitizing items. He cleaned her arm with alcohol and a cotton ball. Right before he stuck the needle in her vein, she cried out, "Stop!"

He paused and pulled the needle away, "This is mandatory, miss."

She started shaking from panic, "I- I can't. It's too early- I'm not ready."

The female nurse moved her chair over and sat next to Harley, "If you want, you can hold my hand."

Sniffling, Harley opened her hand, "I guess..."

Having someone else touch her calmed her down. She looked away before the needle went in, and winced as she felt the sharp prick in her arm. Her face paled and she was shaking more. This wasn't how she wanted to spend the morning.

When it was finally over, she drank some water, and retreated to the room she was assigned. The other girl was gone.

Harley delicately climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket over her. She turned on her side and another tear escaped down her cheek, "Mr. J... Why is this happening to me? Why can't I just be home with you...?"


	2. Chapter 2

A few more hours passed before she was awoken again by the light turning on and a nurse announcing, "It's time for breakfast. Come out to the dining hall," and slamming the door closed.

Still feeling exhausted and weak from blood being drawn, she somehow arrived at the dining hall. A big cart with trays with by the door, and everyone was already sitting down eating. She stood at the entrance, biting her thumbnail.

"Grab a tray and sit down."

She moved forward and did as she was told. There was one seat open, so she sat down, not making eye contact with anyone.

The food was general breakfast food. Toast, eggs, and bacon, but they were moist from the tray's lid. She poked at her food and ate little. Now that she was waking up more and realizing her situation, she became more depressed. One by one, everyone else got up to leave, until she was the only one left. Most of her food was left untouched when she threw it in the trash.

After the dining hall was locked, she decided to explore the building. To her dismay, there was not much to explore. There was one hallway with a locked door on either side, no access anywhere else, and no access outside. The locked office with the glass windows had most of the staff members inside talking. She stood and watched them until one came out.

"Smoke break!"

The empty hallway suddenly filled with other patients. They chattered excitedly, all wanting a cigarette.

Harley stood off to the side, "Smoke break...?"

A ratty looking man with a beard twitched and scratched his face, "Yeah, babe, we get to smoke and go outside. You just came in last night, right?"

Being called "babe" irritated her and she wanted to hit him. She held her tongue for the time being, "Is that the only time we can go outside?"

"Yep, better hurry up and get out there if you want to smoke. We only get two a day," he followed the others to the now unlocked doors.

She'd never smoked before, and she figured she could leave soon enough. She just had to track down the doctor, or whoever was in charge, and find out what she had to do to leave. The staff member supervising the smoke break seemed like a good start.

"Hey there," she leaned against the wall he was near and smiled, "when's the doctor comin' in?"

He stared straight ahead, "Might be later today."

She waited a bit for him to say more. When he didn't, she said, "Is that how I can find out when I'm going home?"

"That's for your counselor to discuss with you," he stepped forward, "Smoke break is over. Everyone inside."

The doors were locked again and Harley didn't want to be around the other patients. They leered at her and made obscene gestures that she knew she couldn't react to. She retreated to her room again and laid on the bed, "I guess I'll wait 'til doc comes in and figure all this shit out." She'd only been there less than a day, but it already felt like weeks.

"Hurry up and let me leave already..."


	3. Chapter 3

She spent the whole day laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling or out the window that only showed a brick wall.

Once she had gotten up to see the recreation room, but the only thing in there was a tv and some couches. She had been standing for a few seconds when a younger man walked up to her. She looked away, but he stayed nearby, so she simply said, "Um, hello."

He mumbled something and stepped closer. She stepped back, "Watch it, buddy."

He mumbled again, but she could hear him this time, "You're so beautiful. I want you."

She was annoyed, "Yeah, no, I already got someone waitin' for me."

"I wanna use your pigtails as handlebars... Break your ankles... Cut your-"

Harley leaned in close, "You pig. When I get outta here, I'll have Mr. J shoot your goddamn head off." She turned and stormed off back to her room.

Time was going by too slowly. Everytime someone new came in the hallway, she listened to see if it was the doctor. So far it was no one of importance.

She sighed and touched her mouth. Her lips were getting dry. There wasn't anything personal for her to use besides a couple cups of shampoo and conditioner, tooth brush, and mini tube of toothpaste.

"I guess I'll see if they got any chapstick for me," she said quietly to herself and shuffled out of the room.

There was a commotion among the patients and she strained her head to see why. A few important people walked in the entrance doors, blocked off by a red line in the floor. One was a tall man wearing a coat and glasses, carrying a binder. He looked at Harley and said something to one of the nurses.

"Harleen Quinzel, the doctor would like to see you," the nurse walked over to her and pushed her lightly on the shoulder.

"Um, okay," Harley was surprised how quickly she was able to see him and made her way over to his office.

The office was small with just a big desk for the doctor, and a chair for her. The doctor was seated and had a nurse on either side of him.

Harley stepped inside and held her hands behind her back, "Hello doc."

"Please sit," he gestured to the chair.

When she was sitting, he looked at his binder and flipped through the pages, "Hmmm, Miss Harleen Quinzel..."

She sat up straight, "...Yes."

He took his glasses off and looked at her, "You were brought here for a suicide attempt?"

"What?! No!"

"Let's see... The notes here say you jumped in front of a car. Was there a reason for that?"

"I- I did jump in front of it, but it wasn't to kill myself! I did it for Mr. J!" As soon as she said that, she realized her mistake.

The doctor leaned back in his chair, "You're involved with the Joker, are you not?"

"Yes, but that-"

"Is he okay with you putting your life in danger?"

"He-" Harley started but paused. This was the first time someone had talked to her as though she and Mr. J were real people, instead of just criminals, and his question puzzled her.

The doctor scribbled something in his notes and looked back at her, waiting.

"...He didn't have anything to do with this! I mean, he did, but it wasn't..." she looked down and bit her thumb.

"What happened?"

Harley suddenly got defensive, "He needed to get away, so I just helped! I haven't done anything wrong!"

"I'm not accusing you of anything, Miss Quinzel."

She stood up and spoke loudly, "He needs me! And- and I need him! He loves me! No one else gives me the time of day or cares about me as much!"

The nurses whispered to each other, and the doctor wrote more in his notes. There was a long silence in the room, bringing Harley back to reality. She sat down again and crossed her arms.

"Miss Quinzel-"

"Harley."

"...Harley, it seems as though you have very low self esteem and feel as though you need the Joker to have some. We can help you here."

Harley mumbled something.

"I'm sorry?"

"You're gonna keep me here longer."

"That is correct."

The doctor wrote more in his notes about her and dismissed her. She sulked and laid back in her bed. Now she was going to have to stay longer and be questioned about her relationship. She closed her eyes and sighed. She didn't belong here. She wasn't crazy. Well, she was, but not in the way that required her to be here. She'd show them.


	4. Chapter 4

"Miss Quinzel, you can make a phone call."

Harley sat up straight in bed. She'd been daydreaming before the nurse came back in. Looking at her, she echoed "A phone call?"

"Yes, you're allowed 5 minutes, but you'd better get in line now," the nurse walked out, with Harley jumping up and following her out into the hallway.

The line was made up of about six other patients, waiting to call whomever it was that they needed to talk to. The woman in the very back of the line was muttering to herself and Harley felt uncomfortable standing behind her. The woman twitched a few times, looked back at Harley, then muttered to herself again.

Harley avoided eye contact with anyone and leaned against the wall, trying to block out the noise everyone else made. She wasn't even aware that someone was trying to get her attention.

"Hey!"

Her concentration on ignoring everyone broke and she looked up quickly, "Huh?"

The ratty looking man from before was staring at her, "I said, who ya callin'?"

Eyes narrowing, she spat at him, "None of your business," then refused to acknowledge him any longer.

Slowly, the line dwindled down as everyone got their turns. Half an hour felt like three hours to Harley. Finally she was up next. Looking behind her, she realized she had been the last one in line. Maybe she could get a few extra minutes on the phone...

The phone was located in the examining room, but no one was inside to supervise the phone call. The nurse was stationed outside, for privacy.

Harley dialed the number, with a few secret extensions, and waited for him to pick up.

"Yeah."

The voice brough inexplicable happiness to Harley. She could feel her chest grow hot and her heart beating faster. A smile appeared on her face that she couldn't control. "Hi Pudd'n!"

"Eh? Who's this?"

"It's me! Harley!"

"Oh, Harley. I was wondering what happened to you."

She smiled even bigger, "You miss me, baby?"

"You almost let me get caught, idiot!" The anger in his voice caused her smile to vanish.

"...W-what? N-no, I..."

"Where are you now anyway?!"

"T-they took me to a mental institute. They think-"

"For what?!"

She bit her lip, "Um, they think I'm suicidal and are questioning how I've been acting..."

"Oh god," he groaned and she could picture his expression, but he cut her off before she could say anything, "You're more trouble than you're worth."

It felt like she had been shot in the chest.

"..." Tears filled up her eyes, "I-I'll get better, and then I'll come home-"

"No. Don't bother," with a click, he hung up and Harley was left standing, holding a silent phone. The hot tears flowed down her face and dripped from her chin. She weakly put the phone back on the receiver and shuffled back to her room. Life had never felt more lonely and empty before that last phone call. The one person she thought she could rely on and kept her hope going wanted nothing to do with her.


End file.
